Thursday, May 17, 2012

Satan Is A Frustrated Hermaphrodite




More fun from Jeff Dugger: A Small Voice FAQ


Many who agree with your stance on Gen. 6 allege that Satan and Eve had sex producing Cain. Do you agree to this teaching? Absolutely not! God's word clearly states that Cain was the product of Adam and Eve (Gen. 4:1). There is no passage in Scripture where a sexual union between Satan and Eve is ever spoken of. Those who promote otherwise speak directly against God's written word. (Our research reveals Satan to be a very frustrated and hermaphroditic entity. Hence, there is hardly any chance at all of Eve ever being able to become impregnated by such a creature. Hermaphrodites don't reproduce very easily according to God's laws of physics.)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aw, I think it could happen. After all, the Deity inpregnated a young virgin but did not marry her so as far as I can tell. That's fornification. She was actually found to be prego by the Holy Spirit, which if a person, introduces the concept of Ménage à trois. Somehow men are married to Jesus by being in the Church and Women are sons of God. Weird.... Abraham , the father of the circumcision is now father of the uncircumcised and "art thou circumcised? seek not to become uncircumcised," however you do that!

IF Satan was Jesus brother, then he'd be obligated to give children to Mary Mag when Jesus died etc. That spawn of Satan may have evolved into the Pope, but I've lost track what I am saying....

M.T.Ovaries

M.T.

This is all very confusing

It's all so very confusing

Anonymous said...

Aw, I think it could happen. After all, the Deity inpregnated a young virgin but did not marry her so as far as I can tell. That's fornification. She was actually found to be prego by the Holy Spirit, which if a person, introduces the concept of Ménage à trois. Somehow men are married to Jesus by being in the Church and Women are sons of God. Weird.... Abraham , the father of the circumcision is now father of the uncircumcised and "art thou circumcised? seek not to become uncircumcised," however you do that!

IF Satan was Jesus brother, then he'd be obligated to give children to Mary Mag when Jesus died etc. That spawn of Satan may have evolved into the Pope, but I've lost track what I am saying....

M.T.Ovaries

M.T.

This is all very confusing

It's all so very confusing

Anonymous said...

"Hermaphrodites don't reproduce very easily according to God's laws of physics."

Thanks for that insightful bit of theological knowledge.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking it is more a law of biology than physics? Well unless satan is quantum leaping to get here.

Anonymous said...

So how exactly does this guy know Satan is a hermaphrodite, or do I really want to know?

Anonymous said...

Our research reveals Satan to be a very frustrated and hermaphroditic entity.

What the fuck kind of "our research" are they talking about?

This sounds like the kind of craziness you'd find on Daystar, TBN, or God TV.


Norm