Monday, April 23, 2012

"Hey Kid!!" How Armstrongism Looks At Suffering

"Hey Kid!!  If you just do your YES Lessons, get
your folks to send in their tithes  so we can do God's work,
and pray for the kingdom to come, you'll be fine!
Hey Kid!!  Are you listening to me?  Look at me!
Jeez, you sure eat sloppy. I don't think you are ready for God's
Church at this time.  Keep reading...."
 
"Permit the little children to come unto me...for of such is
the Kingdom of God...jerks"

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Andrew on Apostle Malm "Once again, out of his own mouth the Apostle contradicts and condemns himself."




Yesterday, the Apostle Malm blogged:

"Today we can be zealous for our God by keeping all of his commandments THAT ARE APPLICABLE TO US and by rejecting the wicked from our assemblies … Today we are to reject the wicked from our assemblies for God to deal with." (Emphasis mine.)

Yes, even the Apostle agrees, some of god's commandments are applicable to us, and, some of them aren't! Let's have a brief look at several examples.

1) Ex 20:8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

These 8 words have more impact upon how a "true," "zealous," "christian" lives his life than any other. There is no length too extreme to make sure one never tramples holy time with his sandals on. The annual holy days in Leviticus 23 amplify this commandment by adding 7 extra sabbaths. Breaking a sabbath in even the tiniest of ways is sure to get your ass deep-fried in the Lake of Fire. Status: Applicable.

2) Isa 66:23 And it shall come to pass, that from one new moon to another, and from one sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before me, saith the LORD.

Yep, new moons are basically 12 more sabbaths per year. It's not strictly commanded not to work on new moons, but if you're not too busy doing bible study to get nothing else done, it’s possible that could be a sin. "Zealous" "christians" always err on the side of caution in these matters. Status: Applicable.

3) Numbers 10:10 Also in the day of your gladness, and in your solemn days, and in the beginnings of your months, ye shall blow with the trumpets over your burnt offerings, and over the sacrifices of your peace offerings; that they may be to you for a memorial before your God: I am the LORD your God.

Yep, on every sabbath, you are supposed to toot your own horn. If you don't do that, you are NOT keeping the sabbath, and your ass WILL be fried, no question. Status: Applicable.

Now, here's a few commandments that are not applicable:

1) Matthew 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law: judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Haha, no need to look out for those "weightier matters," because everyone knows that keeping the sabbath is the weightiest matter of the law. Tithing, sure, but mercy? Puh-leez! Good one, Jesus! Status: Not Applicable.

2) Matthew 25:34-46 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me...

If you're hungry and naked, this is probably because god is not blessing you, and what's the number one reason why god might withhold his blessings from you? That's right, sabbathbreaking. [Why is the Apostle living below the poverty line?] In the words of the Apostle, we are to "reject" these "wicked" people. Like the Hell’s Angels say, “Kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out.” Better not trample the sabbath with your sandals on, but if you want to trample your fellow man with cleat boots, no problem. Status: Not Applicable. Next!

3) James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and to keep himself unspotted from the world.]

This is a tricky one. The first half of the verse is not applicable, the second half is! And how do we keep ourselves from being spotted by the world? Stay inside writing your blog (about how everyone who doesn't live exactly like you do will receive eternal damnation) where no one in the world can “spot” you. The "zealous" "christian" treats every day he can like the sabbath, just to be safe. The sabbath: a day of rest, condemnation, and gnashing of teeth. Ahh. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Visiting people in affliction? Eh, not so much. Status: Not Applicable.

Bonus) Matt 22:36-39 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, [Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.] And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Another tricky one. Some parts are applicable and some parts aren’t. Can you tell which is which? The first great commandment is all good, but love your neighbor? Never heard that one before! Besides, everyone knows the second great commandment is Ex 20:8! Haha. Another good one by Jesus! Status: Not Applicable.

UH OH! Today the Apostle went on a tear about NOT CHERRY-PICKING from scripture! Something the Apostle would NEVER be guilty of! Look at what he blogged today:

"To reject any part of God’s word as NOT APPLICABLE TO US, is to reject the Word of God; which is to reject Jesus Christ! And to reject Christ and God’s Word is the spirit of Antichrist!" (Emphasis mine.)

Once again, out of his own mouth the Apostle contradicts and condemns himself.

Andrew