Saturday, June 30, 2012

John Allen: About To Lay Bare All The Deep Dark Secrets Of The Ages



John Allen, the crazy COG member in Costa Rica has recovered from his bout with gangrene and is back receiving messages from God.  According to Allen, all great prophets throughout the ages were taught secretly by God and others in special schools for prophets.  Obviously God did not let Meredith, Pack, Furry and Weinland into that school because they have all been miserable failures.  But never fear!  God had a better plan.  God is training up John Allen to reveal secret hidden knowledge to the COG's.

Let me ask you a quick question. Do you think Moses just "came out of
nowhere?" Of course he didn't. He had the same training any future
Pharoah would have, which was much like the training for a high priest.
Do you think that Elijah and the prophets just "came out of nowhere" too?
Well, maybe God called some of them specially, but do you realize that
Elijah had a "school of the prophets?" One day we will discuss this, but
it is true.

And what about the Essenes who made and preserved The Dead Sea Scrolls?
All of these passed down a special oral tradition and training that was
not available to the common people. This was highly specialized "secret
knowledge" known only to the very few.

But in this end time, God has begun to reveal these secrets to my mind and
I'm going to pass on a lot of it to you.


The last known school of knowledge that real prophets got to use was the Library at Alexandria.  But those damned Catholics burned it!  Say what?  The Catholic Church burned down the library????? 

The Catholic Church burned the library of Alexandria because it contained
a lot of this ancient knowledge that they didn't want the people to have.
Because, if they did have it, they wouldn't believe their lies and
deceptions anymore.

I hate to break it to John, but his god must have jiggled the spoon when he was putting John's brains in that empty head.  This is what Wikipedia says about the Library at Alexandria

In the 2nd century AD, the Roman historian Aulus Gellius wrote in his book Attic Nights that the Royal Alexandrian Library was burned by mistake when some of Caesar’s soldiers started a fire. Furthermore, in the 4th century, both the pagan historian Ammianus[19] and the Christian historian Orosius wrote that the Bibliotheca Alexandrina had been destroyed by Caesar's fire.

Therefore, the Royal Alexandrian Library may have been burned after Strabo's visit to the city (25 BC) but before the beginning of the 2nd century AD when Plutarch wrote. Otherwise Plutarch and later historians would not have mentioned the incident and mistakenly attributed it to Julius Caesar. It is also most probable that the library was destroyed by someone other than Caesar, although the later generations linked the fire that took place in Alexandria during Caesar's time to the burning of the Bibliotheca.[26] Some believe that the most likely scenario was the destruction that accompanied the wars between Zenobia of Palmyra and the Roman Emperor Aurelian, in the second half of the 3rd century (see below).

Because of all that lost knowledge the world has been in the dark about so many things.  But now a most glorious event is happening.  God has reveled such terrifying hidden knowledge that the world will hate John Allen even more than they hated Herbert Armstrong!

God's time has now come to RESTORE ALL KNOWLEDGE to His Church. And if the world hated Herbert Armstrong for the little bit of truth he knew, you can imagine their reaction when, literally, ALL THE DEEP DARK SECRETS OF THE AGES ARE LAID BARE FOR ALL TO SEE.


The elite of the world, the educated, and the scholars will soon be going into "apoplectic fits" over the secret knowledge John is about to reveal!

This world's elites will be in apoplectic fits of rage because of what we
will openly reveal to you, but God's time has come to lift the veil that
has obscured history and knowledge until now. The early church knew these
things, and were fed to the lions for revealing this to common people.

The early church was not fed to the lions because of secret hidden knowledge.  He needs to get his facts straight about that too.


If you want to hear this secret knowledge that will send the educated into screaming fits of rage then click on his link below.  Better yet, don't waste you time because it is as silly as you are already thinking it will be.

But, now God's time has come to reveal this to you. Are you ready?

This is part one in a new series that will answer all of the basic
questions mankind has -- and don't imagine that even you old timers have
all of the answers. This first part deals with the origin of Satan and his
demons, but don't make the mistake of thinking you know it all here
either. We must begin to understand these things in order or us to grow.
Next time we will begin to answer the question of what is man, but in
order to understand that you need to get this first.

You can listen to it right now in our Sermon, Services, and Bible study page:


Plain Bible Truth

Have a great Sabbath!

John

Apostle Malm: When UCG Preaches "Grace" They Are Preaching Doctrines of Demons



Apostle Malm is so hung up on keeping the law that he goes into fits at the mention of "grace."  He gets particularly incensed about grace when it comes to United Church of God.  He feels UCG is embracing "love" over the law.  How dare they teach grace above keeping all 613 laws!  Evil gracites!

I am talking about the great apostasy already accomplished in creating an  attitude willing to reject parts of the scriptures  or twist them, to justify personal organizational traditions.  I am talking about the open apostasy of UCG from Law is love;  into the false teaching of demons that Grace diminishes the practical observation of the law.

These are all doctrines of demons and part of teh great falling away from zeal fpor God and his commandments; from any kind of zeal for internalizing the nature of God and becoming like God.


Friday, June 29, 2012

Apostle Malm: Internet May Not Be Usable By End of Year



Apostle Malm is getting crazier by the day.  Though that really is not much of a surprise.  He has been doing some house cleaning on his web sites and has spent the day eliminating old comments that were a year old or older in order to free up more space for comments by current readers.

But never fear, he has to get his prophetic mouth engaged in even this.  He writes:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:   To reduce the weight of the site comments two years old and older comments  have been deleted.  This will provide for as much comments space as is needed through the end of this year.

By that time, either the North American Internet will no longer be usable; or I will be going to a dedicated server.  

If his prophetic utterances are true the great whore will have arisen in Europe, the Beast and Germany will be bombing the hell out of the United States. With all of those bombs flying around the internet will be down and no longer useful in spreading his gospel message.  Unless of course he just moves to a new server.  Which really means his prophetic utterances were an epic failure and he has been given more time to warn the church.  Its like broken record.

Gerald Flurry-Philadelphia Church of God News Source Is A Purveyor of Porn



For some reason Armstrongism has always had a great interest in porn.  So it is no shock to find that Gerald Flurry is using a porn purveyor as his source for vital prophetic news.  Only in Armstrongism!

Gerald has an article up on his site dated July 2012.  In his article, A Deadly Secret Plot Has Been Uncovered, he starts hyperventilating about those nasty Germans who are secretly plotting to bring into power a new world dictator who will be really, really fierce.  I am assuming that when Gerald talks bout "fierce" he is not referring to it's current definition:


a term used in fashion for cool, sexy, awesome, or any other positive remark about something. it is most famously used by christian sirianos, project runway winner, and tyra banks.
Damn that dress is so fierce! I love it!

Look at that model and her feirce little strut!  Urban Dictionary
 

I digress, on to the earth shattering news that is ruffling Gerald's skirt:
A covert group of EU foreign ministers has drawn up plans for merging the jobs currently done by Herman Van Rompuy, president of the European Council, and José Manuel Barroso, president of the European Commission.

“The new bureaucrat, who would not be directly elected by voters, is set to get sweeping control over the entire EU and force member countries into ever-greater political and economic union. Tellingly, the UK has been excluded from the confidential discussions within the shady ‘Berlin Group’ of Europhile politicians, spearheaded by German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle” (emphasis mine throughout). 

This “new bureaucrat” is going to get control of the EU by flatteries—not by being voted into office. That means that he and a few cohorts will hijack the powerful EU. It will be led by Germany, the only powerful economy in the Western world. 

There may be a few small twists and turns, but this secret plot is going to usher in a fierce dictator! Bible prophecy makes that powerfully clear.


He then breathlessly continues:

The Express secret-plot article continued: “Opponents fear the plan could create a modern-day equivalent of the European emperor envisaged by Napoleon Bonaparte or a return to the Holy Roman Empire of Charlemagne that dominated Europe in the Dark Ages. …

For about 70 years we have been prophesying of the Holy Roman Empire and emperor soon to appear on the scene. It will be the seventh and last head of that superpower.

He then believes that a new German-Italian alliance will form, just as it did with Hitler and Mussolini.

These secret plotters saw the end of the Franco-German axis coming in the lead-up to the May 6 French presidential election. These two nations had led the EU from its inception. The plotters then moved to help form a German-Italian axis. 

Germany and Italy are the first two nations of the 10 nations or groups of nations to form the Holy Roman Empire. The other eight are already a part of the EU and probably eager to join Germany and Italy.

Germany and Italy have been at the heart of the Holy Roman Empire throughout the ages. When Hitler and Mussolini became allies in World War ii, it was the sixth head of the Holy Roman Empire. Mussolini even called their union the Holy Roman Empire

This new German-Italian axis—including the worldwide power of the Vatican—is a major shift in Europe’s direction. These two leading nations are going to shock the world as they demonstrate their worldwide ambitions—which they have done in the past.

Everything in Armstrongism has to have a conspiracy behind it. Satan is that big meanie who is influencing the Europeans to dump France and England in order to prepare for world domination.

So now that the secret plot has been exposed for all the world to see by the great Gerald Flurry, where does the porn connection come into play?

His source of news is The Express out of England. The Express has been kicked out of journalism associations and censured by advertising watchdog groups.  Here is what Wikipedia UK edition says in the "Desmond Era" section:

In 2000, Express Newspapers was bought by Richard Desmond, publisher of a range of titles including the celebrity magazine OK!. Controversy surrounded the acquisition because, at the time, Desmond also owned a number of pornographic magazines such as Big Ones and Asian Babes.. He is still the owner of the most popular pornographic television channel in the UK, Television X. Desmond's purchase of the paper led to the departure of many staff including the then editor, Rosie Boycott, and columnist Peter Hitchens moved to The Mail on Sunday, stating that he could not morally work for a newspaper owned by a pornographer. 

 The Express group lost an unusually large number of high-profile libel cases in 2008–2009; it was forced to pay damages to people involved in the Madeleine McCann case (see below), a member of the Muslim Council of Great Britain, the footballer Marco Materazzi and the sports agent Willie McKay. The string of losses led the media commentator Roy Greenslade to conclude that Express Newspapers (which also publishes the Star titles) paid out more in libel damages over that period than any other newspaper group; although most of the individual amounts paid were not disclosed, the total damages were disclosed at £1,570,000.[9] Greenslade characterised Desmond as a "rogue proprietor".[9]



Is Gerald Flurry so desperate to find news that fits his absurd prophetic brain farts that he has to turn to a porn producer to gather his information?  Apparently Flurry's news/editorial department did not have the sense to do a little fact checking before allowing this to go to print.  Flurry comes off looking like a fool.  Oh, no shocker there!

Hat tip to Tom who had this to say as a perfect conclusion:

Which of Desmond's publications is he going to cite next?  "Big Ones?"  "Asian Babes?"  Or maybe his porn network, "Television X?"
"It's a shocking demonstration of how infantile his thinking is, and of how his entire organization is built on sand. What a complete joke."