This is a musing...

"Where in the World are The Splinters?"

 

"In six short weeks, the “Church of God landscape” will forever change. Saturday, August 31 will be a Sabbath unlike any other in history. It will be the first time in decades that all of God’s people around the world will be meeting together in the same locations for services. Words cannot describe the excitement and happiness that will be everywhere soon after this reunification. In many areas, much of or possibly even entire congregations might “roll over” into The Restored Church of God. Brethren will have had weeks to prepare for this and to “consider their ways” before God. Those who come will have been led to return to the Body of Christ the day before this Sabbath. Reread this last sentence."

Screed #23

 

  

" I tell you...they are coming.  They are....  You people just don't have faith!  God would not have revealed the real meaning of Haggai in a year different from the year it was going to happen.  Think!  Consider!  Ask why you don't get it. How many proofs do I have to give!"

(I made this one up...for now)

 

 

Well, here we are.  Getting into the last week of August and still nothing much on the horizon as far as Exodus 2013 is concerned.  At least nothing visible on my end.  I can't imagine if there had not been some major defections especially by men of renoun, Dave would not have spoken up to at least use it for advertising and propaganda.  I could be wrong.  Maybe there are lines of ministers right now being processed and tested , hidden away in sound proof booths with their cell phones confiscated.

 

 

Reporting For Ministry Mr. Pack...Sir!

I imagine there are look outs posted all around the grounds for signs of unusual traffic and movement into Wadsworth and towards God's Headquarters.

"No Sir..we're looking.  We don't see anything yet."

 

"Yes Sir...of course we're looking out the entrance towards Giant Eagle.

 

 

"No Sir...I'm sorry.  The parking lots aren't filled up yet.  We have a few spaces left"

 

 

"Sir!  I think I see a group from United coming onto the property!"

 

 

"Oh sorry Sir...my bad.  It's the group who want their retirements and 401k's back from last week."

 

"Yes Sir, that's exactly where we referred them."

 

                                                   

" Yes Sir...we'll look again.  Where are you looking Sir?  Oh wait!   Yes we see that too..."

 

 

"No sorry Sir...that's just those former employee kids again...Yes sir, the ones you called demon possessed in church for not sitting still while you spoke."

 

"Yes Sir, we see them too.  Those are the staff you just let go and took their fleet cars."

 

"We do have a second minister here wanting an audience.  He doesn't want to say which splinter he is from until he knows he passes the test."

 

"Oh sorry Sir...we thought you said 'fork him.  Our bad."

 

"No...just be a bit more patient Sir.  I'm sure they are all getting gas even as we speak."

 

"Yes sir.  As painful as that sounds, we will do that Sir and let you know if we see anything happening."

 

"Hi Sir..No Sir. Not much going on here.  It could happen Sir."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ron Weinland: Ron Writes About Sex While In Prison

It's a well known fact that many times when people scream and shout about something they hate, they are actually dipping into the pie they claim to despise.  It is also a well know fact that those incarcerated in prison for long periods of time turn their sexual thoughts over to other things.

Weinerdude is back with his latest missal about sex.  Why are all the  Armstrongite ministurds that lead the various splinter groups sooooooooooooooooooo occupied with sex?

Has his time being incarcerated with Big Bubba brought some sexual thoughts into Weinerdudes head?  Does Laura, the 2nd Witness, and devoted spender of tithe money have some competition right now?

Weinerdude, or as he is affectionately known on other boards as Conland Swineland, truly has to be the biggest idiots the Church of God has right now.  He writes some of the most incredibly stupid things possible and the fact that there are a small group of people who believe his stuff show how sick a COG mind can get.

“Therefore God also gave them over to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts (which becomes magnified by hormones) to dishonor their own bodies between themselves. Who changed the truth of God into a lie…” (Rom. 1:24-25).

"The more that people turn to sin (any kind of sin), the more unsound and distorted their thinking, choices, and behavior becomes toward the subject of sex. Sin distorts and perverts all thinking, but it is more manifest in the area of sexual thought, emotion, and conduct. The product of this “wrong thinking” regarding sex then leads to distorted judgment, feelings (emotion), and communications in relationships. Through Paul, God reveals part of this process and correlation in thinking and behavior.

"This process begins by people moving farther away from living in agreement to the awesomely beautiful enhancement to the marriage relationship that God created mankind to be able to experience together as husband and wife. Marriage between a man and a woman was created to be the closest and most important relationship that mankind is able to experience in all human relationships. The sexual part of that relationship is an important part of the overall relationship and reveals much about each individual separately and also the ability of both (as a couple) becoming “one” as family. The sexual relationship between one man and one woman in marriage was created to be natural, healthy, beautiful, endearing, binding, and exciting in producing one of the most giving and receiving experiences that two people can share together in life."

"Finally, however, what has changed over the past century due to a world cursed with greed and misuse of scientific knowledge, the world today is plagued with an over abundance of dangerous chemicals that can and do alter the proper healthy functioning of the human body that God so perfectly created to exist in a physical world. Large quantities of chemicals are added to foods we eat, ingested or injected as medications or used in other medically evasive practices, as well as the excessive use of chemicals in every imaginable area of agriculture. Animals are given medications, steroids (growth hormones), and other growth altering drugs, which then enter the food chain as meat, milk, eggs, etc. The genetics of plants (for produce, grains, etc.) have been altered (unnatural) which humans then consume. Although everyone is assured that these are “safe,” these were not what God created the human body to consume or be exposed to.

"This cycle goes on and on, but it has produced changes in the children being born and changes in children as their bodies are growing and many of these very things actually work to alter the chemical makeup in a person (hormone production as an example, and other chemical regulators of the human body and mind) which can produce a different sex mindset than what one has been born with physically. Such things are also the cause of many diseases and illnesses. Many know as young children that they are different and think differently than much of society around them. Today, we are all the product of a cursed and sick world (physically, mentally, and spiritually), which is the product of 6,000 years of mankind’s rejection of God.

"As the subject of homosexuality has just been addressed, it also needs to be stated that having such feelings, emotions and pulls are not sins, but the practice and lust of it is sin. This is just as true for those who are naturally drawn to those of the opposite sex. Such is not sin, but the practice of sexual relations outside of marriage is sin, as is lust and the fantasizing that is so often associated with it."

"When it comes right down to it, being lied to about Santa Clause did far less damage in my life than being lied to about 1975."

There is a great post on All About Armstrongism today about the Church of God's greatest LIE that was fostered off on tens of thousands of gullible members are pure truth.

The Church for generations taught the “evils of Christmas” to the Church, condemning it with fervor and blasting out about how “Satanic” the day was,, it’s origins, “Saturnalia”, and of course, teaching how it was lying to their children about Santa Clause.

Truth is, they really needed to shut up about it – they were involved in their own lying. Even Herbert Armstrong said they got “carried away”. And the subject to bring that point home is 1975.

1975 is one of Armstrongism’s biggest embarrassments. And biggest fears. With members fearing losing 1/3 of “their friends” that they knew at that time (which was stated with certainty in the book) to world disasters on Armageddon proportions,  they were scared. Scared stiff. Some to the point where they had everything packed and ready to go. Children were told that they would have to leave “at any time”. Some children were so scared of this, they were literally traumatized at that time – mostly by the fearfulness and panic of some very zealous parents who listened – and believed wholeheartedly – to the patently false speculations of Herbert Armstrong, who, according to an article in “Tomorrow’s World” magazine published by the Church, “regretted it deeply”, regarding the church’s – as he called it “appearance” or “coming close to” setting dates.

Check out the entire article here: "Let's Get Real"

Dennis Musing on...

 

Feast Gifts!!!!

 

I still have that picture in my head of going into my 12ish year old son's room and upon exiting seeing countless small pieces of paper taped to the back of his door.  It was the moment I recognized my kids actually did look forward to the "Feast."  He had a piece of paper for each day left until the next festival and removed one every day in countdown fashion.  Even I never did that with Christmas!

 

Years later, that same son, now with his own family and far removed from the Church stopped at Jekyll Island Feast site and just stood in the back recalling what he perceived as his good old days.  Then he left.

 

But of all things, it was those "Feast Gifts" we gave them along the way that were the stuff their memories were made of.  For kids, it was the substitute for not keeping Christmas of course.  It was even better than Christmas we would tell them to lessen the downer it must have been when they actually came upon the Christmas season.  I grew up with Christmas as did most of us, but it was not actually the big deal to me that "The Feast" was to be in my WCG experience.  Today one son is a non church participant and we have a good relationship and my oldest is a practicing Catholic who enjoys the stabililty and form the church has to offer.  When he was in catechism class he'd call me to ask stuff like,  "now tell me the story of _____________ in the Bible, so I can get through these classes ,  and don't tell me whether it really happened or not!"   :)

 

Of course it was not really the Feast, i.e, Church, they were excited about. It certainly was not the sitting or the "happy" hymns.   It was not the sermonette that so often seemed, to me, like a time wasting filler so we could say we spent a lot of time at church.  It probably was not the special music unless they were stuck doing it with YES/YOU choirs.  Lord knows it was not the sermons, but I have to say as well that, in spite of enjoying my youthful experience growing up in the Presbyterian Church, I cannot recall one sermon ever given either.  I do remember in detail the picnics, hayrides and Boy Scouts sponsored by the church.

 

 

 

 It was the time off, the location, the beach, the friends, the freedom that they looked forward to.  And the gifts...

 

 

and...

  

 and...

 

                                              ...specifically comes to mind back in the day


But as the years have worn on and those times are past, it occurs to me, after seeing such craziness in religion as represented by the James Malm, Gerald Flurry and Dave Pack types, I thought it might be good to encourage everyone associated with these under trained, over funded and ego centric know nothings some Feast gifts that would probably do them some good.  As Dave Pack might say,  "I don't think I have ever received a Feast quite like this before.  Maybe I did once,  but nothing quite like this.


                                                     For your consideration:

 

 

and how about...

or...

or God forbid...

 

 

Personally I would give these as a feast gifts just to let them know that mere Bible reading and then just reexplaining in a sermon what everyone just read is not really being a theologian with the responsibility to actually inform people about all things religious and life changing ...

 

                                        

                                                                         

                                                                

                                                                   

but not...