Monday, June 15, 2015

The Mystery Worshiper Hits UCG For Pentecost, Finds Cliquish People But Lots of Eye Candy



Ah United.....what are we going to do with you?  Absolutely nothing you seem to do anymore is right!  After you dumped close to $100,000 on a failed campaign in Cincinnati, changed your web site to hide your doctrines and claiming to be God's best church ever, you still screw it all up.  Even Jelly cant get you out of your mess!

A delightful entry is on the Ship of Fools web site.  They have people who are "mystery worshipers" who attend services in churches around the world and report back on how the service went and if it had any spiritual benefits.

The reviewer writes:
What was the name of the service?
Pentecost Service.

How full was the building?
Completely full. There were 330 chairs set out (I know because the worship leader mentioned it) and more had to be brought in. Lots of children and youth plus adults of all ages. Everyone was dressed in their, erm, Sabbath best. I had chosen my nicest Pentecost red outfit but felt somewhat underdressed nonetheless.

Did anyone welcome you personally?
No. One or two people shook my hand and said hello, but I was ignored for the most part.

Was your pew comfortable?
Standard hotel conference chair – comfortable.

How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
Everyone was standing around visiting with friends. Most of the seats had been “saved” with papers, hymnals, water bottles, jackets, etc. placed on them. As I started taking notes my pen went dry, and I went out to the hotel’s front desk to see if I could borrow another one. When I returned, someone had taken my seat. I spied a lone chair against the back wall and made for it.

What were the exact opening words of the service?
“All right. It’s that time.”

What books did the congregation use during the service?
United Church of God Hymnal. There was no program or order of service.

What musical instruments were played?
Digital piano.
 So far it sounds like a typical Church of God's boring service...until the reviewer writes this:
 Did anything distract you?
There was lots of eye candy – handsome young men very smartly dressed.

This will certainly freak out UCG, but I don't know why it should, since there are quit a few gay people in UCG.  I am glad to see it more open now.

Then more fun:

Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
Not happy-clappy but relaxed nonetheless. The hymns were all traditional-sounding although I recognized few of them. The service opened with three hymns, followed by a prayer and a sermonette. Then the collection was taken up. Just for the occasion I had prepared a special Mystery Worship Calling Card that included an icon of St Valentine, which I deposited in the basket when it came my way. The collection was followed by a vocal solo, announcements, and the main sermon. The service concluded with a closing hymn and a prayer.
Poor Randy Schreiber.  Everyone knows his sermons are boring as hell because he rambles on and on,  so it must be really shocking that a person who hears him for the first time also found him to be rambling way too much.

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
5 – That’s the average score, as I would give Pastor Schreiber a 4 and the sermonette preacher a 6. Both spoke in a relaxed, conversational style and made good eye contact with the congregation, but I also think both of them rambled. Pastor Schreiber’s sermon was well constructed and had an interesting theme, but he rambled way too much for me to score him any higher. He spoke for 50 minutes but could have made his point in 10. The congregation were politely attentive throughout, but there was a palpable sigh of relief when he finally walked away from the lectern.
Schrieber has the same issue 99% of the other men in the UCG and COG has; hey don't know when to shut up.  Countless "points" and mindless rambling do NOT a sermon make!  An effective sermon can say everything that is needed in 20 minutes.  Quoting three pages of scripture out of a Strong's Concordance does not accomplish anything but distract members from paying to much attention because they are kept busy looking things up.

The UCG congregation did put their best foot forward and showered the visitor with Christian love though................................NOT!

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
After the final prayer, people started visiting again. Eventually they began walking out into the lobby and out the doors. I stood around both inside the ballroom and in the lobby, but no one noticed me or said anything to me.
 Then the visitor makes a comment that is an apt description of most COG's.  Cliquish!
How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
3 – I’d like to drop in on one of their regular Sabbath services to see if they’re structured the same way. The traditional music was refreshing, and everyone sang with gusto, but I’d want tighter preaching. Also, they seemed very cliquish and unwelcoming of visitors, but that may just have been the unaccustomed venue. If they were that way at their temple services, I wouldn’t be back.
So did this UCG church put God's best interests forward in showcasing how they love Jesus? Not so much:
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
I’m going to say “neutral” on this one.
 The the review closes with this delightful comment....
What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
The eye candy. Pity they’re so down on the notion of St Valentine’s Day!


The entire review can be found here:  2864: United Church of God, Tempe, Arizona, USA














Sunday, June 14, 2015

UCG’s Camelo Anastasi Mocks Ecumenical Unity Movement While COG's Are In Appalling Disarray




UCG's Camelo Anastasi has an article up attacking various Christian groups that seek to find common ground.  It is funny to see a Church of God member condemn "ecumenicism" and people who want to have unity, when its own house is one massive cesspool of disunity and division.

Anastasi's article delighted Bob Thiel too. Bob, the world's foremost authority upon EVERYTHING has been slamming Catholics and others for their desire to have some unity and common ground in their churches.

The Churches of God, from its very first start has been one of division, manipulation, and backbiting.  With Herbert Armstrong's rebellion from the Church of God 7Day, to the decades of hundreds and hundreds of Armstrognite splinter groups forming, the Church of God's own history is one filled with people who could not and would not worship together.

Anastasi writes:

In practice ecumenicalism is an inter – religious movement involving many different churches claiming to work together in order to overcome their organizational divisions and other doctrinal differences at the expense of the biblical truth. Their motto is “unity in diversity.” But the question is: Can there be real unity in diversities? At what cost?
Various COG's have wanted to seek to find how they could be unified together again as one church.  Some have tried and nothing happens because certain COG leaders feel they are God's instruments through which he only is working.  If they joined up with other COG's to worship then who would be in charge?

Reciprocal cooperations and respect are imperative and transparent values in a civilized society. However, the ecumenical concept contradicts itself by attempting to achieve “unity in diversity” through the exercise of a kind of “love” that is not God’s love as found in the Bible. Let us examine ecumenicalism more closely.
Can you imagine "reciprocal cooperation" and "respect" in the Churches of God? It is an absolute IMPOSSIBILITY! It will NEVER happen!  Not even the pipe dream of them all eventually meeting in Petra in a few years will produce any unity.  Hundreds of different splinter groups will be fighting over who is in charge, who gets the hotel rooms in the Hilton and Marriott for their HQ's and which COE leaders get the choicest caves.  It will be a spiritual and physical bloodbath.  Can you imagine Bob Thiel getting a better cave that Rod Meredith?  Or,  Rod being in charge and sending little Bob off into the nether-lands of Petra to set up camp under some rock ledge!  What about Jim Franks getting the better cave while Kubik has to share a cave with Wade Cox?  The Tower of Babel fighting will pale in comparison.

Anastasi then goes on to claim that unity should be in TRUTH, not in diversity.  It's pretty hard to take Anastasi seriously when his own church has been ripped apart by numerous divisions since it was conceptualized by divisive ministers still employed by the Worldwide Church of God.  Every single on of the 700 some splinter groups ALL feel they have the CORRECT version of truth.  How can "truth" be found in the Church of God when it is soooooooooooo divided?  How can it be a beacon of "truth" to a hurting world when it is soooooooooooo fractured?

Unity is desirable, but Jesus clearly commanded His disciples to be united in the truth, not deception. God’s people are sanctified in the truth, not by unity at any cost (John 17:19). Since the beginning of biblical history human beings have united themselves through deception, not in the truth, only to pay bitter consequences!

Since the beginning of Herbert Armstrong's decision to form his own group the COG has been united in deception, intrigue, guile and manipulation.  Even in the "glory years" of the 1950-1960's the COG was NOT truly unified.  Since the beginning of biblical history and the modern day COG movement there has been little unity and truth.  We have all seen the bitter consequences of this disunity and many have paid a bitter price with their lives.

They have already overturned the order of priority of the two most important commandments: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself ’” (Matthew 22:36). Sadly, the “first” or “greatest” commandment—the one that summarizes the first four of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)—is no longer important to them.

How can the Church of God love the God the claim to follow when they are filled with so much bitterness towards each other.  UCG brass are still bitter at COGWA leaders.  Meredith is bitter towards every other group. Pack and Flurry are bitter towards ALL the COG's and the world around them.  They continually break the first great commandment they claim to follow.  Because they are bitter towards the world and do NOTHING to help alleviate pain and suffering show everyone that they care little for the second great commandment as well.  Why is Anastasi lecturing the world when his own house is in horrible disarray?

Anastasi then heads off the favorite knife that COGers love to throw at Christians.  They follow a false Christ is the label they seek to smear everyone outside of Armstrongism.  Yet, the COG's cannot talk about Jesus Christ, grace, justification or anything else that really is at the core of the message Jesus brought to the world.  Its always is focused upon the law.  They prefer the taskmaster over the yoke-bearer.  Who really has promoted the false Jesus more than the Church of God!  That is why they know him not.

“We do worship Christ,” they say. But does Christ bless those who have changed or abolished the law of His Father? Jesus said: “Not every one that says unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

Anasatais then smears Christians again by saying this:

Unfortunately ecumenicalism boils down to people telling God, “We do believe you and pray to you, but don’t tell us how to live!” It speaks of unity and love, but it offends God by enslaving naïve people into idolatrous practices!
This is hilarious!  What does he think the Church of God has done for the last 30 some years?  They connived and plotted behind the backs of the WCG while still employed by them.  They smeared other break away groups maligning those leaders. They continue to force a taskmasters law upon their followers enslaving them.  Everyone does  what they think is right with their idolatrous practices and can can never come to a consensus upon anything.

Anastasi ends with this:

Genuine love and real unity can only come from God’s Spirit, and this is given “only to those who obey Him” (Acts 5:31; 1 John 5:2-3). God’s people are kept united in one mind, one baptism, one Spirit, one doctrine, one voice, one attitude, and one purpose (1 Corinthians 1:10; 12:4,13; 1 Ephesians 4:14; Philippians 2:2). This is God’s way. This actually works and leads into God’s Kingdom. Blessed are those who walk in it.
So where is the "genuine love and real unity" in the United Church of God?  Where is it in any of the other COG's?  Each one feels they are better than the other.  Each one is the truest and most loyal
 COG to ever exist.  Each one is doing a better work than the other.  The disharmony that exists in the UCG is rampant throughout the COG.  Living Church of God is ready to implode.  Another faction is working behind the scenes in United plotting to break away over upcoming doctrinal changes.  Dave Pack has slithered into his hole in Wadsworth after being publicly humiliated and mocked for two years worth of failed prophecies.  Gerald Flurry is ripping families apart and lying to his members.

Where is the union of COG members with "one mind, one baptism, one spirit and one doctrine?"  Every single one of these splinter COG's formed their own groups because they could NOT agree on the doctrinal stances of their previous church.  Unity will never happen in the COG.  There is no unity.  They do not speak with one voice or purpose any more.

The next time Anastasi or UCG want to lecture the world for their foibles please clean up your own mess first!

Read the entire article here:  May/June United News 2015